$100 & COUNTING
This time I made sure the shower and music were on when I began to sob. I did not want my son to hear me from outside the bathroom since his room was right next door. As I stood directly under the shower head I cried, cried, and cried some more. I was tired, exhausted and at my wit’s end. All of the bills were overdue and I was already robbing Peter to pay Paul. Unfortunately, Peter was broke now too. The night before I had received the shut off notice for my electricity which was due to be shut off the next day, which was today. If the bill was not paid before 11am then by the end of the day it would be shut off. There was no money in the bank, no one left to ask, nothing to sell, and it was my midnight hour (although it was morning).
I began to yell at God. “You said that you would never forsake me!” “You said that you would supply my need!” “You said prayers of the righteous availeth much!” I had forgotten about where I was and it was only Him and I.
“I need you to show up TODAY, I don’t have anywhere else to go!” I yelled.
“Mom, are you okay?” My son asked from outside the bathroom door.
I yelled back, “Yep, just singing!!!”
I dropped my son off at school and had already made my mind up about not working today. I justified that thought with “the company doesn’t reimburse me for gas and I have no money to buy gas anyway.” I worked as an outside insurance collector, my job was to go and pick up customer’s monthly premium payments when they called to pay and then deposit it to the company. But how could I help anybody pay their bill today when I couldn’t even pay my own? The job that I had, only provided me about $300/week and of course all of my bills were MUCH greater than that. For a while I had been trying to manage by depleting all my savings, selling stock, selling personal belongings, etc. I had a child to feed.
But today, I was done. Physically depleted, emotionally exhausted, broke and in need. My church had already paid my rent a few months before. I had already gone for public assistance months prior but they had said I didn’t qualify because the $300/week plus my child support was too much to get help. I couldn’t understand. I didn’t make anything, but what I did make was too much to get help? So here I was, with a shut off notice in my purse and no knowledge of what to do with it.
Just then my phone rang. It was my client Tracy. She wanted me to stop by to pick up her payment. I wrestled with this for a moment because of my earlier decision. But I thought for a moment about how much I enjoyed Tracy and our talks. Then I mapped it in my mind to make sure I had enough gas to get there and back home. It was enough. I went.
I got to Tracy’s house and just as many times before, we sat and talked. It was late March and my son’s birthday was right around the corner. I hadn’t even begun to think about his birthday considering I didn’t have enough for basic bills. But on and on she went, how much he had grown since the first time she saw him, how old he was getting, what grade he is in now, etc. She asked me what I was doing for his birthday. I explained that I had so much going on that I hadn’t even started thinking about it.
“I want to give you some money for his birthday,” she seemed as though it was some directive she had been given. Completely out of the blue, she said it with conviction another time, “Come walk with me to the store so that I can get some money from the cash machine.” As we walked and talked, I wanted to cry but I held it in. Now when we got to the store she quickly went to the machine and took money out. I hadn’t asked her how much she was getting because I was thankful for anything. She turned and handed me $100 in $20’s.
I thanked her and thanked her and at one point thought, “You shouldn’t be taking any money from your client.” But I buried that thought immediately because it was not my client but the Lord who was handing me those $20’s through Tracy.
My electric was due to be shut off for $98 past due in about 1 hour. I left Tracy’s and directly went and paid my electric bill. I even wrestled a moment with the thought of using my son’s birthday money for the bill instead. But I knew that it was “my ram in the bush”, “my midnight hour breakthrough”, and my answered prayer.
We all have them. Those times in our lives where we would rather forget. This time in my life is one that I hold on to tightly never wanting to forget it. The day He provided for me through another in my midnight hour.
It was only $100 that day but to me it was $1 Million.
Philippians 4:19: “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus”
May He supply all your NEED today.